Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
