Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
