my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
