i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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