Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
