My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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