So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
