I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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