I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The power of my boobs compel you
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
