i think i have two assholes
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize