Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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