Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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