Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
