Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
