I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I could fuck to npr.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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