If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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