i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Panties = found
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