Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize