I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
