If that was your dad, he is hot
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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