another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
