Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
