Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
