____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
