Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
