i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
