He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
