tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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