I wish I only lived at night.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
