I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
