I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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