You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
