Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
