i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
