I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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