i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
