Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
