I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize