one two three fourrrrnication!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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