just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i think i have two assholes
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
