i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
