U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
