is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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