wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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