I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
