I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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