Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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