shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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