Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
