Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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