he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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