it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
