He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
