Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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