The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
