Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Randomize
