Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
