omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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