What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
