sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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