What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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