But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
