just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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