You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
